|me:||What you do think about the princess marrying another princess?|
|her:||Instead of the prince?|
|me:||Instead of the prince|
|her:||So her daughter would have two mommies?|
|her:||two princess mommies...|
Hey, that last one is just plain wrong. Hats are against dress code.
you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
Don’t look a dead horse in the mouth.
why is being alive so expensive
You spelled “suck” wrong.
i literally can’t even tell what you’re trying to say
- why is being alive so suck
- why is being alive suck
- why is suck
- suck is being alive so expensive
- why suck so expensive
what the fuck is going on
when girls say “i was born in the wrong decade!!” “i belong in the 20’s!!!” “i wish guys were still old fashioned gentlemen!”
are u sure about that
This is what I’ve been trying to say.
Old west brothel menu…
"How are your grades?"
"What are you majoring in?"
"Have you got a girlfriend?"
"What do you want to do when you graduate?"
Morning mindfuckery: Why the sum of all positive integers is -1/2
It doesn’t make any god damn, but it’s a rock solid fact of mathematics— that if you add up every single positive integer out there, which is a lot, the sum will be -1/2. Why is that? If I could even begin to explain it on my own, I would’t be so bad at not being broke.
why are blonde jokes so short?
so men can remember them
- “Looking for something fresh. I would say smart fun, good colors, smooth, edgy-with-restraint, innovative but familiar, subdued classic with updated...”
My parents and I were watching the Hobbit but then they both fell asleep so I stopped the movie and started Return of the...